au revoir paris

welcome back poopers, sleepers, etc. you know the drill here. these are long posts, bless you if you have the attention span to read such shit. 

we begin with our last full day in paris because I flopped in planning out our stay here. my good bro, jasmine, sent me a list of things to eat while in paris, so for breakfast we decided on a restaurant from that list. 

the breakfast spot is called holy bell and yes, indeed holy heck my belly was content. when we arrived there was a line with about 10 people in front of us. I ordered the food I have provided you a picture of. pancakes with strawberries, peaches, pecans. my other plate has eggs, toast, bacon AND AND!!! THAT’S A FUCKING HASHBROWN L O L. these pancakes were better than any american pancakes I have ever had. like, in comparison american pancakes are trash because these were perfectly fluffy and the fruit on top was so fresh; i’m not usually a fan of whipped cream, but even that was good! 900000000000000000000/10 would recommend.

we began to make our way to explore, our first stop was the notre dame cathedral, but just to spectate from outside. it was still covered up since we were there after the fire. we kept exploring because I had souvenirs I wanted to buy. bruh just enjoy these pics because I am blanking out so hard.

we made our way to the louvre, but we didn’t get tickets since it was sold out for the day so we enjoyed the view from outside. it was a really nice day out in terms of yay no gloom, but holy fuck was it hot. one of the most difficult parts of this trip was the fact that it was over 95° every day and we walked around everywhere. not fun at all. I recommend you buy a portable fan to walk around with to keep yourself fresh. or one of those little spray bottles. well in the event that you visit europe during a heatwave. like, yeah we’re from california, buT FUCK. anyway, before we knew it, I was hungry again. what a surprise.

I chose something from the list my friend had sent me, but I didn’t think to google it or do much research on it. I chose it because it looked cute and it was close by. well, we get there and apparently the name of this place has to do with something about pork. maria is a vegetarian. 😐 I forgot what she ate. probably a leaf. look at the cute thing they gave us with the check though. we hit up some vintage stores while we made our way to keep exploring, they had cool stuff, but nothing that I was completely sold on. after walking around different shops, we took uber back to our hotel because walking around in the heat really just isn’t it.

if you know me personally, you know i’m notorious for going on tinder. I hadn’t used tinder in america in a while, but I used it while I was abroad because I needed suggestions, and I needed to browse eye candy because I’m a fucking perve, okay? I think if I had to rank the thots from highest to lowest in the cities i visited it’d be paris, london, italy, amsterdam and sweden. I matched with a lot of thots in paris, there was this guy who looked like reykon that i was tempted to meet up with but he kept insisting that i met up with him in a secluded ass area, was I really trying to make the plot from taken a reality for myself with a thot? no. no one would give a shit that I went missing because i’m not some little all american blue eyed girl next door. so no thanks i would rather not be part of a sex trafficking scheme where I would never be found.

I decided to go to dinner with maria instead. we had some bomb ass chinese food, but after this I was hungry for snacks and candy that paris had to offer (london has bomb ass kit kats) so we strayed far from our hotel, only to come back and find out that there was a convenience store in front of our hotel the entire time. I asked maria if we could go in because I wanted to check to see if they had more kit kat balls. we walk in and again, if you know me personally, my type is zayn malik, that guy with the big ass ears from the 10 year challege, brown. (hmu if you got any zayn malik/british guy with big ass ears/maluma/ friend lookalikes) there was a cute brown guy working and maria pointed out that he was my type so I walked back in and told him he was cute. 10 minutes later maria sent me back in to buy her chips and I asked him for his instagram but I got it wrong so I had to walk back in AGAIN but he gave me free snacks. he said I could take whatever I wanted including the booze. shoutout to you little french man for providing us snacks for our flight. I hung out with him at his little shop thing til sometime in the morning. I still have him on instagram and I told maria I thought he got married but I guess it was someone’s birthday??? lmfao.

anyway, that was a really uh unexpected way to finish off my last night in paris.

the hotel offered a shuttle service that took us to the airport so that came in handy so that we could be on our way to italy and make our lizzie mcguire dreams a reality. before i left i tried a croissant, those bad boys melt in your mf mouth out there. nothing like this american shit. i packed up some coca colas in my checked in luggage …. i would like to mention i had about 10 in the span of 3 days which is unhealthy because soda is bad for you, but i’m pretty sure maria told me the bottle said to only have 1 a day. i looked up the recipe because i thought i was insane for thinking it tastes different than the shit we have here. and i was right, in france they use the original recipe minus the cocaine. in america we use high-fructose syrup meanwhile they still use sucrose. 

thank you for joining us in paris. I will see y’all in italia