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arrivederci italia

welcome back poopers, late sleepers, bored people of the world. I am sorry to everyone living through this time right now. it’s rough right now, but we will hopefully overcome this soon and correctly. stay safe, don’t wear gloves unless you’re gonna wash your hands every time you touch something. remember to sanitize everything you buy. remember to sanitize your phone too. don’t be touching your face after touching your phone if you haven’t sanitized it yet. sorry, tangent. 

I am here to talk about my least favorite part of the trip i took which was my last day in italy. I am also now sad writing about this because of everything that’s happened there. it’s such a beautiful place with so much culture. sending good thoughts to them because they’re going through hell. again, my bad, tangent.

we began by being the poster children of health and eating at mcdonalds for breakfast. I will say though, the mcdonalds in europe is poppin because they had vegetarian options way before they added impossible burgers here and such. 

our day was going to consist of going to the largo argentina cat sanctuary and finding cats there because that’s where according to google, they all congregate to be superior. we went here and not the vatican? well, we didn’t go to the vatican even though it was close to us because the lines to get in are ridiculous. it’s like waiting for some new disneyland ride. it’s rough out there, but I was told that if you do want to go to the vatican and avoid lines, you should book yourself a tour guide that will help you skip all that mess. 

on our way to the cat sanctuary, I stopped by a gift shop because it was our last day so I needed to buy last minute souvenirs. I found the most amazing tool that I should have brought with me to begin with. a portable fan. it was a game changer while we were walking around. we get to the area. it was cool, but I was interested in the cats that were nowhere to be found. we kept walking, but because of the heat, maria ended up with a headache so we found a nearby park with shade and she knocked out and I woke her up like 30 minutes later so we could go back to our cat search journey. 

it turns out the cat sanctuary we were looking for was where we ended up BUT there were stairs on the opposite sides of where we had arrived. we didn’t see the stairs that take you down so you can go inside and greet the felines of italy. fam, I was so sad I couldn’t take them home. if you know me, I fucking love cats. shoutout to my mifferino.

after spending time at the sanctuary, we decided to finally try pizza in the motherland. fam, that shit is life changing. it is quite the experience of the taste buds. the pizza is thin, so is the crust, they stick it in those wood fired ovens.  does and will not compare to the pizza we have here. chefs kiss. i don’t want to hear any italian pizza slander, if you try to compare american pizza and say it’s superior, that’s like telling me the tacos here are superior from the ones in mexico. gtfo. there’s a pizza place in San Francisco that really reminded me of the pizza I had there, it’s called flour and water so lets all go check it out in a gigantic group date to celebrate when this mess is over.

when we finished our pizza, we went back to our airbnb because it was time to pack. how sad. before i knew it, of course, i was hungry AGAIN. my friend carol had suggested a restaurant for me to check out while I was here, so I asked maria if she wanted to eat there as our final meal in italy. she agreed. i got caprese which is a miracle and i took a picture to show my mom because she knows i hate tomatoes. but not in italy. i loved it! however, the pasta I ordered was so disappointing lmfao. I am an uncultured swine because the man at the restaurant asked me why I didn’t like it and I said because i’m a fat american who loves salt, butter and cheese and that wasn’t salty, buttery, or cheesy enough. he was weird. maria said he was flirting with me but in a weird way. oh yeah, forgive my perveness, but the men of italy could get it.

Italia, ti amo. ci vediamo un giorno.

comment how, where and who you’re quarantined with

day 2 of amsterdam 2019

my permanent disclaimer: my posts are really long because I be rambling. so read this when you’re

goodnight amsterdam

pooping, need something to read before bed, or if you’re bored and like to read.

welcome back to my 4 part installment of the amsterdam series. 

after night 1 of being in amsterdam and drinking amazing cider. no, like, maria thought she was drinking apple juice and it ended up being 7% alcohol or some shit.  we made a list of things we wanted to do and number one on our list was going to the van gogh museum. you can purchase tickets for the museum online beforehand which is what we did, and you can select which time slot best works for you or when you arrive to the museum, they have kiosks. the ticket was only $20USD! 


maria, queen of being the perfect travel buddy

as I had mentioned, there were little shops around our airbnb so we decided to check out a tea shop for breakfast. don’t judge me but I had never had chai tea, chai iced tea, etc, so I decided to grab one here and it was life changing to my taste buds (and was very disappointed when I came back to america because they are not anywhere near the same in terms of taste) the one I had there was handcrafted to sweet perfection, no dead ass, it was so sweet which is perfect for me because I have a sweet tooth.

if you’re ever in amsterdam and would like to explore a tea shop with a variety of delicious teas, check out https://www.instagram.com/tsteas/

we took an uber to the museum because although we had public transportation right by us, we weren’t sure how to use it yet. when you’re in europe, remember to download Citymapper because it comes in clutch! it tells you all the public transportations routes that are available near you https://apps.apple.com/us/app/apple-store/id469463298

fam, the reason i’m starting to document this shit is in case I end up like that lady from the notebook, but apparently it’s already happening 😭😭 I really am blanking here about the museum. from what I remember, they had an exhibit named van gogh and the sunflowers. there were no actual sunflowers, but they had these bad boys which changed colors.

after we were done walking around the whole museum, which is 4 floors, I had to check out the gift shop because my best friend is a huge fan of van gogh. as I was lurking for her gift, I came across this bunny. her name is miffy and she is an icon because well look at her, she’s so fucking cute. instant obsession skskks. hence, sorry to my cat since he’s a boy, but he’s named after her.

next on our list after the museum, was hitting up some markets we had looked up. then it happened, the big moment of us using public transportation. there are machines at the bus stops where you purchase your tickets, and it was super cheap for a 3 day pass. I believe it was $10. so we hopped on the bus and ended up at Bloemenmarkt. which if you’re like me you’ll go crazy, go stupid because there are sooooo many flowers. unfortunately, you can’t bring that shit back into the u.s. as you’re walking you can find souvenir shops and of course, weed. weed stuff almost everywhere in the shops, even if it’s just a small section. that’s when we decided to buy a weak ass edible. 0/5 would recommend. after this we found vintage shops which is what they call thrift stores…hmm… apparently maria and I starved or something because I don’t have any photo proof of us eating on this day. from memory though, we had mcdonalds because they have a lot more vegeterian options. they charge you 75 cents to get into the bathrooms. also, they don’t use toilet seat covers. which is weird to me because here, the bathrooms are free and we use toilet seat covers. we had dinner at a restaurant by a canal… that’s all I remember from this day. enjoy these pictures that took place throughout the day.

comment your favorite cider!