Tag Archives: travel

au revoir paris

welcome back poopers, sleepers, etc. you know the drill here. these are long posts, bless you if you have the attention span to read such shit. 

we begin with our last full day in paris because I flopped in planning out our stay here. my good bro, jasmine, sent me a list of things to eat while in paris, so for breakfast we decided on a restaurant from that list. 

the breakfast spot is called holy bell and yes, indeed holy heck my belly was content. when we arrived there was a line with about 10 people in front of us. I ordered the food I have provided you a picture of. pancakes with strawberries, peaches, pecans. my other plate has eggs, toast, bacon AND AND!!! THAT’S A FUCKING HASHBROWN L O L. these pancakes were better than any american pancakes I have ever had. like, in comparison american pancakes are trash because these were perfectly fluffy and the fruit on top was so fresh; i’m not usually a fan of whipped cream, but even that was good! 900000000000000000000/10 would recommend.

we began to make our way to explore, our first stop was the notre dame cathedral, but just to spectate from outside. it was still covered up since we were there after the fire. we kept exploring because I had souvenirs I wanted to buy. bruh just enjoy these pics because I am blanking out so hard.

we made our way to the louvre, but we didn’t get tickets since it was sold out for the day so we enjoyed the view from outside. it was a really nice day out in terms of yay no gloom, but holy fuck was it hot. one of the most difficult parts of this trip was the fact that it was over 95° every day and we walked around everywhere. not fun at all. I recommend you buy a portable fan to walk around with to keep yourself fresh. or one of those little spray bottles. well in the event that you visit europe during a heatwave. like, yeah we’re from california, buT FUCK. anyway, before we knew it, I was hungry again. what a surprise.

I chose something from the list my friend had sent me, but I didn’t think to google it or do much research on it. I chose it because it looked cute and it was close by. well, we get there and apparently the name of this place has to do with something about pork. maria is a vegetarian. 😐 I forgot what she ate. probably a leaf. look at the cute thing they gave us with the check though. we hit up some vintage stores while we made our way to keep exploring, they had cool stuff, but nothing that I was completely sold on. after walking around different shops, we took uber back to our hotel because walking around in the heat really just isn’t it.

if you know me personally, you know i’m notorious for going on tinder. I hadn’t used tinder in america in a while, but I used it while I was abroad because I needed suggestions, and I needed to browse eye candy because I’m a fucking perve, okay? I think if I had to rank the thots from highest to lowest in the cities i visited it’d be paris, london, italy, amsterdam and sweden. I matched with a lot of thots in paris, there was this guy who looked like reykon that i was tempted to meet up with but he kept insisting that i met up with him in a secluded ass area, was I really trying to make the plot from taken a reality for myself with a thot? no. no one would give a shit that I went missing because i’m not some little all american blue eyed girl next door. so no thanks i would rather not be part of a sex trafficking scheme where I would never be found.

I decided to go to dinner with maria instead. we had some bomb ass chinese food, but after this I was hungry for snacks and candy that paris had to offer (london has bomb ass kit kats) so we strayed far from our hotel, only to come back and find out that there was a convenience store in front of our hotel the entire time. I asked maria if we could go in because I wanted to check to see if they had more kit kat balls. we walk in and again, if you know me personally, my type is zayn malik, that guy with the big ass ears from the 10 year challege, brown. (hmu if you got any zayn malik/british guy with big ass ears/maluma/ friend lookalikes) there was a cute brown guy working and maria pointed out that he was my type so I walked back in and told him he was cute. 10 minutes later maria sent me back in to buy her chips and I asked him for his instagram but I got it wrong so I had to walk back in AGAIN but he gave me free snacks. he said I could take whatever I wanted including the booze. shoutout to you little french man for providing us snacks for our flight. I hung out with him at his little shop thing til sometime in the morning. I still have him on instagram and I told maria I thought he got married but I guess it was someone’s birthday??? lmfao.

anyway, that was a really uh unexpected way to finish off my last night in paris.

the hotel offered a shuttle service that took us to the airport so that came in handy so that we could be on our way to italy and make our lizzie mcguire dreams a reality. before i left i tried a croissant, those bad boys melt in your mf mouth out there. nothing like this american shit. i packed up some coca colas in my checked in luggage …. i would like to mention i had about 10 in the span of 3 days which is unhealthy because soda is bad for you, but i’m pretty sure maria told me the bottle said to only have 1 a day. i looked up the recipe because i thought i was insane for thinking it tastes different than the shit we have here. and i was right, in france they use the original recipe minus the cocaine. in america we use high-fructose syrup meanwhile they still use sucrose. 

thank you for joining us in paris. I will see y’all in italia 

paris 2019

welcome back, read this during your pooping time, break, before bed, you know the drill.

I shit you not, when I was booking my flight to paris this is what was going on in my head


there will be no pictures in this post except for memes because, well, this is a shit show. when is my life not a shit show?

let’s begin.

3 people were originally supposed to go on this trip; maria, myself and someone who will not be named since we are no longer friends. this person, had to back down on the trip which left me and maria.

maria had actually been to paris before so I had asked her for recommendations on places to stay that weren’t sketchy. not to sound like a negative nancy, but you always have to be aware of which places are safe, blah, yadayada. she had sent me some, but nothing was confirmed. if you know maria, you know that this woman is impossible to get a hold of over text.

I was in charge of finding our flights, airbnb’s and scheduling which dates we’d be in what cities. the reason we were able to take this trip is because we were ballin’ on a budget, that’s why our trip was short when it came to being in each city. it was like a preview tour, I guess, so we could see what we liked and come back in the future for a longer period of time. ANYWAY, when maria didn’t answer us about places, and the other person backed down, I panicked. what do I do when I panic? book the shittiest hotels apparently. 

our flight to paris from amsterdam was late, but we got there safely, thankfully. if you’ve read my first amsterdam post (if you haven’t go do it!) I mentioned a heat wave. bitch, we’re from the bay area, we’re dead after 75°F so let me tell you the fucking disbelief I was when we get to paris and it was still over 100°F. I don’t know why i expected the heat to magically disappear seeing as it was a heat wave in europe.

moving along, we arrive and I order an uber, but it took forever to find where we were going to go order said uber because that airport is a hot ass mess. it’s worse when you’re a dumbass american going into a country where you don’t know the language! totally would go back in time and learn some basic french to save my life because I had a difficult time asking for help. finally, after 25 minutes I find where we are going to catch our uber and that was a mess. imagine bay area traffic but in the world’s smallest parking lot. our uber arrives and swoon, bitch, i was dead. infinity out of/5 uber stars for that handsome french man.

paris was the only place I didn’t use airbnb. paris was also the place where I was completely clueless because it was hard to find places based on what maria had told me. desperate times, call for desperate measures. I downloaded okcupid and decided to ask these hoes where were some safe areas. I gathered info, went onto hotels.com, (shoutout to them) and found a super cheap place. it was hard to pass since i’m the type of person who says I just need a bed to sleep on, and a shower since i’ll be gone all day exploring. 


so we get there, and this place has some… character. for starters, we check in, and we had to put our luggage into the elevator by itself because it didn’t fit us with our luggage. we get to our room. y’all remember that heat wave?Image result for sweating meme

well, this place didn’t have an ac. this place had no pillows. the bathroom door didn’t close. our luggage had to be arranged at a certain angle in order for us to fit inside the room WITH our luggage. a MESS. it was a MESS. it was cheap, but I saw at what cost! I want to say I only lasted about 15 minutes before I desperately looked for wifi because I needed to get us the fuck out of there. and glory be to God because I found us a new hotel that I thoroughly inspected in photos this time but was also super affordable that we could check into the next morning. shoutout hotels.com. y’all a real one.

until next time. let me know in the comments if you suck at texting back.


day 2 of amsterdam 2019

my permanent disclaimer: my posts are really long because I be rambling. so read this when you’re

goodnight amsterdam

pooping, need something to read before bed, or if you’re bored and like to read.

welcome back to my 4 part installment of the amsterdam series. 

after night 1 of being in amsterdam and drinking amazing cider. no, like, maria thought she was drinking apple juice and it ended up being 7% alcohol or some shit.  we made a list of things we wanted to do and number one on our list was going to the van gogh museum. you can purchase tickets for the museum online beforehand which is what we did, and you can select which time slot best works for you or when you arrive to the museum, they have kiosks. the ticket was only $20USD! 


maria, queen of being the perfect travel buddy

as I had mentioned, there were little shops around our airbnb so we decided to check out a tea shop for breakfast. don’t judge me but I had never had chai tea, chai iced tea, etc, so I decided to grab one here and it was life changing to my taste buds (and was very disappointed when I came back to america because they are not anywhere near the same in terms of taste) the one I had there was handcrafted to sweet perfection, no dead ass, it was so sweet which is perfect for me because I have a sweet tooth.

if you’re ever in amsterdam and would like to explore a tea shop with a variety of delicious teas, check out https://www.instagram.com/tsteas/

we took an uber to the museum because although we had public transportation right by us, we weren’t sure how to use it yet. when you’re in europe, remember to download Citymapper because it comes in clutch! it tells you all the public transportations routes that are available near you https://apps.apple.com/us/app/apple-store/id469463298

fam, the reason i’m starting to document this shit is in case I end up like that lady from the notebook, but apparently it’s already happening 😭😭 I really am blanking here about the museum. from what I remember, they had an exhibit named van gogh and the sunflowers. there were no actual sunflowers, but they had these bad boys which changed colors.

after we were done walking around the whole museum, which is 4 floors, I had to check out the gift shop because my best friend is a huge fan of van gogh. as I was lurking for her gift, I came across this bunny. her name is miffy and she is an icon because well look at her, she’s so fucking cute. instant obsession skskks. hence, sorry to my cat since he’s a boy, but he’s named after her.

next on our list after the museum, was hitting up some markets we had looked up. then it happened, the big moment of us using public transportation. there are machines at the bus stops where you purchase your tickets, and it was super cheap for a 3 day pass. I believe it was $10. so we hopped on the bus and ended up at Bloemenmarkt. which if you’re like me you’ll go crazy, go stupid because there are sooooo many flowers. unfortunately, you can’t bring that shit back into the u.s. as you’re walking you can find souvenir shops and of course, weed. weed stuff almost everywhere in the shops, even if it’s just a small section. that’s when we decided to buy a weak ass edible. 0/5 would recommend. after this we found vintage shops which is what they call thrift stores…hmm… apparently maria and I starved or something because I don’t have any photo proof of us eating on this day. from memory though, we had mcdonalds because they have a lot more vegeterian options. they charge you 75 cents to get into the bathrooms. also, they don’t use toilet seat covers. which is weird to me because here, the bathrooms are free and we use toilet seat covers. we had dinner at a restaurant by a canal… that’s all I remember from this day. enjoy these pictures that took place throughout the day.

comment your favorite cider!

day 1 of amsterdam 2019

disclaimer: this will be long so read it while you’re pooping or need to fall asleep.

welcome back, loved ones. since I am clueless when it comes to all this website stuff, I deleted my old blog on accident 😀 and couldn’t get it back 😀 so here we are back to square one. I guess I only saved my london post, so that’s posted on the site.

today I started looking at my pictures of amsterdam and decided to reminisce on a time where my life was pretty darn cool.

maria and I flew with easyjet, I can’t remember if this airline sucked or not, but it was $60USD with our bags included so shout out.

all I remember at the beginning was feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I think maria will be the only person in the world that will know why or maybe not, but as soon as we arrived in amsterdam all we did was laugh. 

right off the bat, I was sus of amsterdam on the car ride from the airport to our airbnb, I wasn’t with it, we were wondering why were even there, but shoutout to that one kid for suggesting this because it honestly ended up being such an incredible suggestion. 

so, we get to this airbnb and we call the person in charge and he was…interesting. he was shirtless and told me i needed to take a shower because it was hot skksksks. 

rip nikes

please enjoy this picture of my foot and part of my leg going downstairs. i’ve provided you with this because there was about 5 more of these flights of stairs? maria’s luggage is the size of a fucking beer barrel. imagine a minion beer barrel. that’s what her luggage is in a nutshell. we were staying all the way on the top floor. so since we’re weak links, we struggled with the minion beer barrel, my luggage, and the fact that we were somehow expected to climb all these fucking stairs when it finally dawned on the shirtless man, “oh you want me to help you?” siR.

we finally reach the top of this never ending staircase and our room was clean, spacious and had an amazing window that I wish I had taken a picture of. the only downsides were 1) the fact that we went to europe during a heat wave and they had no air conditioning 2) the staircase that we had to climb up and down every time we went out.

once we left the airbnb, we walked around and saw there were little shops, restaurants, and coffee places around which was super convenient, we also noticed the bus lines were right by all of this.

after exploring the shops, we decided that our first meal in amsterdam would be pizza. we walk inside the restaurant, and we are greeted by a lil old man working there who thought we were italian. he didn’t speak english, we didn’t speak italian. it was a time because we decided to ask him for the wifi, but he thought maria was asking him for his number, so he pulled out a paper and pen and wrote his phone number down for her. I thought this meant we were going to get a free meal, but nah fam, he was not with it. he was holding it down for his business. respect. 

once we were done eating, we embarked on our walking journey. attached are pictures of said walking journey. mind you it was like 9pm during these pictures, wHAT THE HECK!?

what I remember from our walk is thinking everyone was so nice and that maria and I were delusional because we thought everything was funny. while on our walk, maria found out that omar apollo was also in amsterdam, but we missed the show. HOWEVER, he was so nice to her and really easy going which made me happy for her since she’s a fan. such a talented, tall, majestic, latino king.

that’s it for today. thanks for reading. 

comment your favorite minion.